This is me trying to cope

So here goes... I have been told by a dear friend that she thinks journaling or blogging will help me with everything that's going on in my life. So this is me trying to do so. 

I will give a brief run down of the past 4 years of my life.

I met the man of my dreams and we quickly got married. We were blessed with becoming pregnant without even trying. It was the most amazing thing that i've ever experienced! I knew from a young age I wanted to be a mom. Isn't it every girls dreams? Well our sweet girl is a very happy energetic 3 year old. We couldn't ask for a more perfect child...really!

We started TTC our second child in June of 2010 right before Alyssa turned 2. After 6 months of trying my doctor said your so young give it 6 more months and we will see what happens. Well we kept trying and NOTHING! I then revisited him and he wanted to check my progesterone levels. So we did and they looked good! Which means I am ovulating on my own. Which I pretty much knew I was, because i'm regular...except for a time or two that i was late and i just knew it was my time...but no just my body messing with me. So after they tested my levels i started taking clomid. I personally think that's when I became an emotional mess! Maybe because I then had to start tracking when I ovulate and everything else for that matter so YES my world became consumed with trying to read and learn my body. I wanted a month or so then did my second round of clomid. I think I handled things better that month. My husband may think different. 

Still NOTHING!! Ok so yes at this point I was getting really discouraged. I mean everyone and I do mean EVERYONE was getting pregnant or was pregnant or just had a baby. Everyone except me that is. So the next step was for my husband to get checked. He was so willing to do anything that was needed to figure this problem out. Well we got the wonderful results that his little swimmers are just perfect! I'm really relieved because I would rather it be me than him.

The next step was the HSG test. I priced checked the test and found the state hospital was the best cash price for this test. I was happy about that because one of my sweet clients just so happens to be an OB there...so when I could finally schedule my test I went in and found out everything looked good! I really didn't know if I was happy or sad. I kinda wanted an answer, a reason that I am still not pregnant. So now that my tubes look good my Dr wants me to do Artificial Insemination. Yikes...sounds crazy right? But I do trust him and will be doing it as soon as I get a positive on my ovulation sticks. Until then I'll keep you posted.